I had to meet "the docs" today. This means that instead of meeting with the midwives this week, they sent me to the doctors' office to meet with them in case they'll be involved with the delivery.
It did not go well. My blood pressure was through the roof, when just five days ago it was beautifully low at the midwives' office. I weighed myself with my boots on, and that did not turn out well either. Then I met the doc. She was perfectly nice...but I could hardly keep it together.
She started by saying that I "carry beautifully" due to my long torso, and that I don't look 39 weeks pregnant. But then she hit me with the statement that I was "still a candidate for VBAC...". Wait, what? Still? What happened?
Apparently I've gained more weight than they would like for a VBAC candidate. I'm still 10 pounds under what I gained for Buzz, and both the doctor and the midwives think I'm going to have another relatively small baby (around 7lbs)...so I just know how to do some serious comfort eating, I guess. I kept telling myself that I can throw that BS out the window. If my baby is that small, how does having a little extra weight in my saddlebags have anything to do with how I'm going to push this child out?
After the measurements were taken, the heartbeat listened to, and the internal exam, she sat me down to go over all the risks of VBAC. She offered a c-section tomorrow, if I wanted it. She talked about how terrible it would be if I labored for 12 hours and then ended up with another c-section. Basically, she confirmed all my fears about working with doctors ever again. And these are doctors associated with a midwife practice! What I wouldn't give to be birthing anywhere but in a hospital...
So it was a tough afternoon. With thoughts like the ones the doctor left me with, it's getting really difficult to stay positive. I need this baby to want to come soon before anyone interferes with my plans!!
2 comments:
Hang in there, Em. Being in the last week of pregnancy is hard enough, but keep fighting for what you know is right for your child. And power walk your behind off...it was an EPCOT death march that started my labor with Amelia ;)
Wow! I'm sorry you seem to have so many negative experiences with doctors and hospitals. I've birthed two children in a hospital and have had the BEST experience. If you do have another baby, I hope your experiences are better and that your negative feelings won't color your experience too much. Be positive! -Jennifer M.
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